Some thoughts for my darling daughter on the evening of your second birthday as you sleep soundly in bed, exhausted from the joy of your special day:
Two years ago you entered my life and launched me head long into the most glorious, confounding, mysterious, challenging, profound and ecstatic journey imaginable. There is simply no way I could have ever anticipated exactly how far my body, my mind, my heart and my soul could be expanded, stretched and pushed to the limits by your mere existence. Your steadfast presence has acted as a mirror pool for me; a relentless reflection of revolving angels and demons merging and dissolving, transforming as the ripples radiate out then collapse back in on themselves. While I may look at my reflection and be horrified, impressed or despondent, you see only me and truly love what is there without fear or judgment.
I thank you for all that you've offered me, oftentimes despite myself: opportunities to grow and evolve. For simple moments in time; games of Peek-A-Boo and the healing metaphor borne of those moments, the tender respite I took in hiding sad and heavy eyes behind my hands while I picked up the shards of a heart that had imploded by surrendering to the gravity of love. Thank you for the comfort and reassurance that your spontaneous peals of joyous laughter provided while I searched for buoyancy in the darkness, for meaning and purpose that I knew was hidden within the riddle of your tiny smile; for the me that exists as a whole reflection in your eyes. But mostly, thank you for having the courage to be here in this incarnation and choosing me to be your mama. Let's grow together, dear one.
Peek-a-boo. You see me, I see you.
Happy second birthday, Lucy.
Love,
Mama
The darkness of shredded black coconut and aged vanilla resin is sweetened with sandalwood infused smoked sugar then brightened with heliotrope, ylang ylang, triumphant pink grapefruit and a kiss of sweet musk.
{PS - Post-partum depression is a soul sucking, dangerous disease. Don't suffer in silence. I did and it almost won. Click here for some resources}
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All the best,
Vajra (and Miss Lucy, too!)
